Now that the “unofficial start of summer” is officially behind me I am officially getting my game face on for fun in the sun aka a beach trip. Back when I had control of my life my beach routine went something like this: wake up early (around 10 or so to get the good morning sun), eat some but not too much because I am about to be in a bathing suit for the rest of the day (no one wants to be bloated on the beach), brush my teeth, pack my beach bag, swipe on some gloss, and head out to beach. Once on the beach, my day would go something like this: lay out, get hot and get in water, read, flip, listen to music, get bored, flip, go on a walk (to even out tan), get hot-get in water, read, flip, nap. This routine was repeated until the sun was setting and then it was time to go in and rest (I was exhausted from all that flipping). Once I was rested I hit the showers put on my best resort collection wear and then headed out for cocktails outside and a late dinner.

My bathing suit was made of the tiniest bits of fabric. Now that I look back my bathing suit wasn’t the only thing that was tiny!!  While I might have looked effortless let me assure you there were weeks of trying to get my base tan, waxing to be rid of any and all hair that was unwanted, not to mention the hours that went into picking out the perfect swim wear and appropriate accessories. The beach bag I mentioned earlier contained a small cooler filled with both adult and hydrating beverages for me to enjoy throughout the day, it also included a book, several magazines, spf 4 in oil for my body and spf 400 for my face (even before the trend I was playing defense on aging!) a hat, so that I would look oh so sophisticated walking down the beach, and just a few bites of apple, to nibble on the in event I had to eat.

Well, that was then and my oh my, how times have changed.  Now that I am toting two tots my beach vacation is much more of a business trip than a beach getaway. My day begins before 7:00 am my mini’s have no respect for the concept of sleeping in. Just getting ready to go to the beach takes hours and so much gear. The bathing suit I wear these days could remake my former swimwear many times over and still have enough fabric for a bag. This is still not enough fabric sometimes once those little hands start clawing at me and things that haven’t seen the sun since spring break 2001 get dangerously close to making an encore appearance. My bag now contains enough shovels, swim diapers, and spf 75 to cover an entire daycare class.

No longer is sand the only annoying thing that gets stuck in my swimsuit, have you ever experienced the paste that goldfish can make when exposed to the sand, sun, and surf for more than 10 seconds. It is nasty.  Everyone has to be SPF’d pre bathing suit application, then again once we hit the beach. Not to mention taking all the tools and tricks and snacks into the bag, or should I say bags. We will also need a diaper and a diaper changing station. I know why families travel with those turtles on the back of their cars. I am surprised they don’t make ones you can shuttle to the beach. And once you have all of that to the beach finally, the days of reading and sunning are over.

Now you settle in and get a good spot so that you can see and spring up every 12-20 seconds screaming “not in the water” “stop eating the sand” “what did I say about throwing sand at your sister” “No, Ariel cannot hear you when you talk underwater”. "The waves aren’t scary." Not only that, but you get about 2.5 hours of this goodness before nap time and lunch kick in. So we load it all up AGAIN, take it to the pool. Where we wash off all the sand and goldfish grit and order our grill cheese and break it to the big girls that the next step is a nap. And because my oldest gets none of her personality from me she will INSIST on fully changing into her pajamas for a nap. And no, not those in your hand, "THHOOOSSEE OVER THERE!!" Once this battle is fought and the winner declared, more often her than me. 

Now the gear is back at the condo for the third time that day I sit down on the deck and realize that it is like 1:30pm/ PRIME SUN TIME. I sigh, I open my book, which in my former life would have been a book about many shades of a certain color but because I am with my peeps it is much more likely to be some parenting book. Then I remember that I have to do it all over again tomorrow and I nap too. After all, I am on vacation.