The antagonist plays an important role in every story, every film, and of course the antagonist can also play a role in your life. There have been 3 foes in my life that we all know very well: Debbie Downer, Jealous Jill, and Crazy Kay. Everyone of these types are absolutely exhausting to be around. Being the naïve person I am, I have encountered a few of these in my life that I have thought were normal and then they blindside me with crazy.

Debbie Downer, we have all met her. She is the one that no matter what you are talking about something awful is around the corner. For example:

You “I’m so excited about my new job.”

Debbie “It will be great unless the economy crashes again and you lose it.”

or

You “I just got back from the doctor and they said the test results came back negative.”

Debbie “I had a friend who had negative results from their biopsy and the next week they were dead.”

or

You “We are getting ready to enroll our daughter in swim lessons.”

Debbie “You better be careful my son almost drowned to death when he took swim lessons.”

or

You “We are going skiing in Vail next month.”

Debbie “You better hope you don’t hit a tree and end up a paraplegic.”

Or

You “Everything seems to be going great. Business is good, the children are great.”

Debbie “That is until the world just blows up and we all die.”

From every angle, for every comment, Debbie is there to crush every ounce of excitement and enthusiasm, and most likely tell you how everything ends in death. If it is sunny, she talks about skin cancer. If it is rainy, she talks about crashing on slippery roads. Things you have never thought would happen, Debbie is there to say that not only can they happen, they do all the time. Fortunately I’ve watched enough Oprah, read enough Earl Nightingale, and seen enough Audrey Hepburn movies to know that if you want to live a joyous life, you have to be optimistic. You are your thoughts, so if you brew negativity guess what, the odds go up that negative things will happen to you. If you think positively, the odds are in your favor for a positive life.

Famous Movie Debbie Downers:

Nicole Kidman The Hours (2002 Best Actress Winner)

Meryl Streep Doubt (2008 Best Actress Nominee)

Jealous Jill could be someone close to you or someone you don’t even know. In fact it could be that you are not even aware of this person’s existence, but oh are they aware of yours and even though they have never even had a 5 minute conversation with you, they do not like you. Maybe it is your success, maybe it is your youth, maybe it is your attractiveness. Whatever it is, it is wasted energy trying to figure out what on earth you have done to this person. In college a Jealous Jill spread rumors about me that I was completely oblivious to until a friend brought it to my attention. More recently, a Jealous Jill who I do not even know has told numerous people she doesn’t like me simply because her boyfriend talked to me one night in public. Women talk to my husband all the time and I have enough confidence in myself to not think a thing about it. I got over being jealous of other women a long time ago and just do not have time for it. I instead believe we should praise women who work hard, are successful, are beautiful, are sacrificing, are kind, and if they are younger we should be mentors to them. If we stop cutting each other down for no other reason than to make ourselves feel better, we might actually have a more major stake in this man’s world.

If Jealous Jill is in fact someone you are close to, you will probably hear comments like:

“So how on earth do you think you are going to handle a career and a family?”

or

“Do you regret your new job?”
or
"Do you think your hair looks good like that?"

Just like Debbie Downer, Jealous Jill is encompassed in negative energy. She has time to think and stew and be paranoid about you. (Too bad all that energy isn’t being used for good instead.)

Famous Jealous Jills:

Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz (1938 Best Picture Nominee)

Anne Baxter All About Eve (1950 Best Actress Nominee)

Wicked Queen from Snowhite

Crazy Kay has entered my life a few times and as one of my dear friends would ask “Was your crazydar not working?” The answer is I am far too inviting and friendly to immediately dismiss someone’s dramatic, overly exaggerated remarks as crazy. I am a believer in developing your own opinions about someone, however many times if I had listened to friends I would have saved myself the drama of letting someone crazy into my life. For instance when your friends say “that girl is a real mess” about someone they know, listen or at least turn the crazydar on so you can be aware when the dramatics start. Crazy Kay will say statements like:

“Oh my God, I was on the way to meet you and a man ran out in front of my car and I had to swerve and almost died.”

or

“Oh my God, one time when I was little lightning struck me.”

or

“Oh my God, I think I am going to overdose on aderhol today.”

or

“Oh my God, I used to date Tiger Woods too, he just texted me.”

You never know what is going to come out of their mouth and you can guarantee that it will always start with ‘Oh my God’. No matter how sorry you feel for Crazy Kay, you cannot, I repeat cannot, let her into your life. She will exhaust you and will manipulate you because no matter how much you think you need to help her, she is after attention and will do what it takes to get it.

Famous Movie Crazy Kays:

Vivian Leigh A Street Car Named Desire (1951 Best Picture Nominee)

Jack Nicholson One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest (1975 Best Picture Winner)

Glenn Close Fatal Attraction (1987 Best Actress Nominee)

Kathy Bates Misery (1990 Best Actress Winner)

Realize that you cannot change the way people act, but you can change the way you react to people. Each person should have their own life, their own dreams, their own goals and as long as you stay focused on those, you should be too fulfilled and too busy to worry about what Debbie Downer, Jealous Jill, or Crazy Kay says or thinks. With a purpose filled life you can elevate yourself to a level where negativity does not even affect you. You can stay focused on your life and your dreams. I was thinking about The Oscars and how when they called the winners name for an award, what if someone jumped out in front of them and said something mean? Would they still make their way to the stage to accept the award for all their hard work? Yes, they would. It is inevitable that we will encounter naysayers, but nothing should take your focus off your life and your dreams. As Matthew McConaughey said in a recent interview, “There is one thing all successful people have in common, they’re not cynics.”